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I was rushin around today and a country song came on named “Where were you?” about 9/11. I remembered that although this man was right about many things it was a pessimistic way of looking at things. I listened to the entire song, remembering where I was when that happened.

I remember the way I felt going to church and seeing pictures of buddies of mine from grade school in uniform with their names in the back of church. I remembered the way I felt that Pete had a family and was sacrificing his time to help out and I remembered that I’m doing this because I am able to do this and I need to do this and it’s a job that chooses you, you don’t choose it. I’ve come to that determination.

I can’t answer that question of why I did this. I can’t explain, I can’t put into words and even if I attempt anything I say can and will be questioned, shot down, or just sound crazy.

(note … Son to this day, I cannot answer the question, “Why did you join the Marines?” Yes I was asked many times. All the answers were and are phony. They will just not understand. It was my destiny, it is yours. No answer is good enough. It’s like that line in Blackhawk Down … “Hoot, why do you do it man, are you some kinda war junky?” You remember his answer, “Know what I tell them? …. Nothing. They wouldn’t understand anyway.”)

I hear when you’re out there the patriotism goes away under fire and it’s about you and the guys your with. but if you ask me that IS patriotism. I’m there to protect my country and as far as I’m concerned my country was established with soldiers blood, soldiers own the country and fighting to keep the guys next to you safe is fighting for your country.

I know very few will understand. I know that among civilians I’ll have to laugh at what they understand it to be. (with the wrong ideas of what we do and why we do it) “it’s not for everyone” I’ve heard that nearly every day for two years. Fact is …it’s not. Because not everyone will understand. I feel a bit sad for those who won’t understand. they are missing out on a great thing. I don’t think some of the closest people to me will understand everything. They try though and that’s awesome so I try to help them.

I’d have to say it all comes down to it’s in my blood, that’s the only words I can use to explain my occupation. It’s not easy, some days I’m scared shitless, other days I’m excited as hell, EVERY night I go to sleep proud and no matter what the next day brings I know pain is temporary, the easiest day is yesterday, and I got the coolest job in the world.

(’some days I’m as scared as shit.’ … Son .. Courage doesn’t mean you are not scared. It means you go anyway.)

Just some random thoughts,

Dude